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Writer's pictureraqueloneloveheali
Dec 4, 20194 min read

Heal. The Nutshell; Damn it!

In your truth.

When you start to become aware that there is something wrong, that you deserve better, it can be overwhelming.   You are in all your feelings at once, when your pain starts to surface, it may be hard to keep your feelings in.  “I am not in the mood to be positive all the time, I am not in the mood to be kind, calm, collected and nice, all the time.  I am not in the mood to be in a good mood all the time!”  It takes a lot of effort to be okay when you’re not.  So, don’t be, don’t be if you’re not.  You’re allowed to complain, wine, kick and scream and call others out.  You are more than allowed to express your frustration, disappointment and ill feelings.  If you’re feeling them, don’t suppress them let them out.  (Not on innocent bystanders, be easy!)  In this time, you are molting, shedding the old life you no longer want to live anymore.

Damn it.

You have to move forward and build a better life, healing first.  Healing is messy, it’s gross, it’s painful and it’s change.  Healing leads to growth, it’s inevitable while we heal, it can be hard to get lost in the pain of it all.  You have to allow yourself the space, the time and the pain that comes with healing.  It’s hard not to give yourself a hard time “you are your worst enemy.”  Be kinder to yourself, be loving, take the time to know yourself better.

In my journey, after leaving an abusive and unhealthy marriage, after I realized that,  since I was a small child, I always felt left behind.  I always felt insufficient, I had to come into my own self worth.  Finding your own self worth after many years of not feeling like you matter, it’s a hard journey.  I have to spend a lot of time alone, finding my self worth.  There are a lot of elements and components to the healing journey:

How to heal from the lack of self worth:  When you lack self worth, you are vibrating at a low vibration, of not feeling adequate, in low self esteem.  You will accept any relationship and any job because you don’t think that you deserve any better.

Healing.

Some steps to get you on your way:

Step 1.  Recognize negative patterns: You must first recognize that you deserve so much more than what you have in front of you.

Step 2.  Purge: You have to get rid of everything and everyone, yes, really, from this past life you are leaving after you realize you deserve better

    Disclaimer:  You will be alone, a lot, you will feel uneasy and you will want to go back to the way things were, because as much as it was crap, it was the crap and the crap people you were used to.  Don’t.

Step 3.  Becoming a hermit, sort of: Take the time to heal, alone, on the floor, in a sobbing aching mess.  Get back up, start a small but manageable “Glow up” plan for yourself.  Fall back down to the grown and cry a little more

Step 4. Find help to heal:

        Holistic methods: such as, Reiki healing, karma cleansing, a medium, herbal specialist, meditation (there are coaches that can help)

      Non holistic methods: Therapist, EMDR therapy, counseling, life coaches, counsel groups, church groups.

It’s hard to know who you are and what you want out of this new chapter, it’s exciting and it is scary, there is no new road map, you have a clean slate.  You should find help, in your healing, find your preference.  I combine reiki healing, meditation, yoga, EMRD therapy and in order to release further frustrations a gym membership.  Also, journaling, keeping a place to store our thoughts, negative and positive and a place to record your growth.

Step 5.  Healing from within!  The best part of this journey is getting into a healthy mind, body and spirit.  In Reiki, there are seven centers where we store our emotions, all which need to be balanced and healed: being aware of them helps, combining good eating habits, exercise (gym and yoga), yoga, meditation and reiki will help balance and heal.

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Step 6.  Triggers: Once you can find the right healing combination to help in your journey, remember journey, you will have set backs and triggers (any old patterns, events, people from the past that will trigger a reaction.)  This will be the hardest part as you become more present and more aware, be easy as you grow, you are trying to reprogram a lifetime of negative and painful behavior.

Step 7.  Be aware and more grateful: for all of it, you are allowed set backs and you are allowed melt downs, don’t take anyone down with you.  If you happen to react towards a good friend, at this point in you healing journey, you will only have loving and mature people in your life.  Make sure that you are aware of your reactions and be present enough to be grateful for them and for the loved ones that are on your side.

Step 8.  Get back up:  for every negative thought, make sure that you are grateful for the journey and make sure that you are grateful for how far you’ve come.  Always be grateful, all the time, for everything.

Take it all slow, steady and easy.  Set goals that are attainable and allow yourself time and space.  You might go back to that abusive relationship one last time, you may call that toxic friend, you might repeat old patterns.  You’re doing great, being aware that you are moving forward and that you are trying to be better and happier is all you need to succeed.  There is no prescription to healing that would fit anyone, any way that you get there is the perfect way.  This is what has helped me and a lot of my clients heal.  It gets easier in time and like the saying goes “time heals all wounds.”  In time you can become used to feeling better, stronger, more loving towards yourself.

The law of attraction:  when you are in a loving, healing, healthier space you will attract all of the happiness and love you have been working to bring into your life through healing.

Much love and happy healing,

Raquel Moragues

Reiki Practioner, Holistic healer, Yogi, Meditation enthusiast, lover, student, Tarot reader, Empath, Single mother…

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